1T.) Derrick Barnett 6’3 263 EDGE Tennessee
- “Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you MOTHERFUCKER! SAY ‘WHAT’ ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!” What? Again, Drama? Yep. I’m trading up yet again for this proud carrier of the “Bad Motherfucker” wallet. My logic this time is that if guys like Watt, Willis, and Bowser are all projected to be drafted before pick 30 then I’m trading up for the best of the bunch.
2.) Josh Jones 6’1 220 S North Carolina St
- “Dean Jones? That’s the same name of the actor in Herbie the Love Bug.” This Motherfucker Jones is no love bug. Kid hits like a Mack Truck. He’s the ideal hybrid safety/linebacker who will eventually replace Mike Mitchell whose declining play often causes me to groan, “MMMOOOTHERFFFUCKERRRR!”
3.) Traded for my guy Barnett
3T.) Zay Jones 6’2 201 WR East Carolina
- “MOTHERFUCKER!” was my reaction when I heard the news Megatard Martavis Bryant was suspended for the season. Not one receiver stepped up to fill his void. If the analytical temptress, Cynthia Frelund, were sitting next to me, she’d tell me that Zay Jones and his NCAA career best 399 receptions would dramatically upgrade the receiving corps. Then I’d bend her over and show her the 50 states.
4.) Sidney Jones 6’1 186 CB Washington-
”You drag race? In a Prius???” “I don’t win a lot.” If TomBert can keep Senquez Golson who has yet to play an NFL snap on the roster for two years, surely they can wait a few months for this Motherfucker Jones to recover from his Achilles injury.
5.) Bucky Hodges 6’6 257 Virginia Tech
- “I really fucked her over and that’s how I got the name, Motherfucker Jones.” Those Motherfuckers over a CBS really fucked over this Hodges kid all the way down to the 5th round. I was never buying the Jimmy Graham comparisons, but he could be a nice weapon in the red zone and a “grand larceny” pick here in rd 5.
6.) Traded for my guy Barnett
7.) Aaron Jones 5’9 206 RB UTEP
- I hope this kid isn’t related to former Steelers’ defensive end Aaron Jones. THAT Motherfucker sucked!
Thanks as always for reading. Still 9 days until the draft. Just passing some time with another mock. “You can’t win a marathon without putting some band aids on your nipples.”