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 Post subject: Post Mocktum Depression
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 9:43 pm 

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:10 pm
Posts: 848
The 2017 season came to a most depressing conclusion, especially if you’re an Atlanta Falcons fan. Man, my transplant home town is freaking shell-shocked to say the least. I am always depressed the week after the Super Bowl, but this year it’s even worse than usual. Between the Falcons historic Super Bowl collapse, the Steelers embarrassing performance in the AFC title game, and now this stupid victory parade, it really did sicken me to watch the GOAT, Tom Brady, raise his 5th Lombardi Trophy. So now what?

Yes, the offseason is officially upon us. NFL Free agency and the combine are just a few weeks away. I like to think the Steelers brain-trust is meeting as we speak formulating a plan to make this the greatest offseason in franchise history. Since I know Colbert’s fat ass is planted at an Eat’n Park woofing down a Super Burger while Tomlin’s out shopping for new aviators, I guess it’s incumbent on us here at SteelerFury to devise a plan for them.

On offense, If by some small miracle Martavis Bryant comes back and stays back, the Steelers won’t need to do much if anything on offense this offseason. Ben, Bell, Brown, and Bryant is more than enough firepower so I say sign some depth where you can. I’d sign a veteran WR, maybe a veteran TE, and re-sign Deangelo Williams. THEY will probably re-sign Laundry to back up Ben, which is fine. I personally don’t waste a draft pick on a qb until Ben officially retires, then throw that rookie to the fire just like they did with Ben his rookie year after Touchdown Tommy went down.

Despite the epic meltdown, you had to be impressed with the speed and youth of the Falcons defense. I want some of that too. Everybody and their brother including me wants the Steelers to sign Melvin Ingram. Yep that’d be swell alright. I'm sure I'll get back to including him in future mocks, but let’s try something different for conversations sake. How about signing a free agent corner? The Texans defense seemed to give Brady fits, so why not poach their top cover corner, AJ Bouye? He's a solid 6’0 190 and just 25 yrs old grading out as PFF’s 6th ranked corner allowing just two tds this season and a 56 qb rating target rating. Other FA corners include Trumaine JohnsonI know some of you liked last year is once again free as is the Bills ]Stephon Gilmore. All would cost a lot, but the talent (and the scheme) of the secondary needs to be addressed this offseason if our beloved Steelers want to prevent Brady and Belichick from tying their record of six Lombardi trophies.

1T) Malik Hooker 6’2 205 S Ohio St.- “Are you a hooker? You look like a hooker. You smell like a hooker. You must be a hooker!” Surgery is never a good thing, however in the case of Malik Hooker there’s a small chance it could be a very good thing for the Steelers. This ball-hawking red-shirt sophomore is going to miss the scouting combine and his pro day due to shoulder and hernia surgery. Watching a Steelers game, I’m generally very low key, however watching the draft I am a freaking train wreck. Back in 2002, I was yelling at my TV for 2 hours begging Colbert to trade up for Ed Reed. He waited a year and traded up for Troy Polamalu. So now this year if I see Hooker sliding I once again will scream at my TV for Colbert to trade up. So I say trade that 3 and 6 just like when you moved up from 27 to snag Troy from the Chiefs. Will it happen? I’m not holding my breath, but it gives us something to talk about for the next couple months.

2.) Tarrell Basham 6’4 259 EDGE Ohio U- Well it’s looking like my Georgia Bulldogs will not have a player drafted for the first time since 1992. That’s 25 years! So if I can’t draft a kid from Athens, Georgia I’ll draft one from Athens, Ohio. Daniel Jeremiah wants to dry hump this kid up and down High Street. Apparently, Basham has a lot of “shock” in his large, violent hands. Whatever works for ya there Daniel. With this kid’s all out hustle (see crawling sack and fumble vs Tennessee) and a strong combine this kid will continue his “meteoric rise” up the draft board.

3.) Traded for Hooker

4.) Damontrae Kazee 5’10 185 CB San Diego St- My transplant hometown Falcons seemed to have a pretty good game plan for most of the game. My guy Jalen Collins fell apart in the second half. He just couldn’t hang with the albino jackrabbits of the Patriots, dude slipped and tripped all over Reliant Stadium or whatever the fuck they’re calling it these days. Kama-Kazee here has the quick feet and physical man cover skills that will give that pain in the ass Edelman fits. Helluva catch ya dopey bastard.

4C) Josh Jones 6’2 215 S North Carolina St- Stay with me here fellas, it’s all about depth and acquiring more chess pieces. (I’m keenly aware Belichick is playing chess to Tomlin’s checkers). This Jones kid is a similar player to Sean Davis. The Wolfpack had this kid lining up all over the defense playing corner, free safety, strong safety, and linebacker. A strong combine could see this kid “Rise Up” to day 2. Fucking Falcons.

5.) Eddie Vanderdoes 6’3 320 DT UCLA- Yes Kyle Shanahan's playcalling made even Todd Haley seem intelligent but the Falcons 4th quarter fizzle against the Patriots was a direct result of being exhausted. Freaking Patriots doubled them up on total plays from scrimmage. I want my defense at all levels to be fast, fierce, and fresh. Anyway, this Vanderdoes kid really flashed the talent Senior Bowl week that had him pegged as a 1st round talent as a 5 star freshman. However, various injuries including a torn ACL will help this ultra-intense, all-out hustler land right in the Steelers laps making him a day 3 “grand larceny” selection.

6.) Traded for Hooker

6C) Dietrich Wise 6’5 275 DE Arkansas- Tomlin not only runs the wheels off his running backs but his defensive ends as well. Depth is needed. After a strong showing during Senior Bowl week I thought for sure Wise would move up a round or two on CBS’ not so trusty rankings. Wrong again Drama. Kid went from a 6-7th round pick to squarely in round 7 ranked 241.

7) Tashawn Bower 6’4 248 EDGE LSU- Terrorized the Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson for 3 sacks in their bowl matchup. Similar size and production to former teammate and Minnesota Viking, Danielle Hunter. Like Hunter, I see this Bower kid blowing up the combine, then becoming a better pro than college player. Stay fresh, attack in waves, cause chaos and mayhem.

Thanks as always for reading. All defense in this one. Despite my post super bowl depression, deep down somewhere inside I know the Pats are beatable with the right scheme and the right talent to run that scheme. Let the offseason begin.

 Post subject: Re: Post Mocktum Depression
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:48 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 1:47 am
Posts: 1021
I like it a lot.


 Post subject: Re: Post Mocktum Depression
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:57 pm
Posts: 3142
I am a fan of Basham ( alma mater). Very good motor. Has always played with his hand on the ground. His 3 cone drill will tell us if he can play in space.

To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection.
- Henri Poincaré

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